Preserve the Union - a guide for unionists

[earl]

A tongue in cheek vid

[earl]

DOs and DON’Ts for Unionists in Scotland


This crib-sheet of DOs and DON’Ts has been compiled as a quick reference for all Unionists operating in the field of anti-nationalist activities in Scotland. It is an extract of what we regard as being the key actions from “The Wee Unionist’s Handbook” with which you are probably more familiar.

1. DO point out how well the Scottish economy is doing under the Union.

2. DO claim Scotland cannot afford independence.

3. DON’T, however, make points 1 and 2 to the same individual(s) at the same time. Slight compatibility problem.

4. DO describe the SNP or SSP as being the ‘Proddy Party’ to private audiences of Catholics.

5. DO describe the SNP or SSP as being the ‘Papist Party’ to private audiences of Protestants.

6. DON’T, make points 4 and 5 at the same time and again make sure of your audience first.

7. DO claim that the SSP would create an ‘Albanian style socialist republic’.

8. DO claim that the SNP would create an ‘Albanian style socialist republic’.

9. DO claim that the SNP are ‘Tartan Tories’.

10. DON’T claim 7 and 8 at the same time, and make sure of your audience’s political leanings first.

11. If you work in the media, DON’T ever report anything which might engender higher levels of national pride.

12. If you work in the media, DO report as often as possible anything which might help to lower Scots self-esteem. This is vital, if the electorate do not feel confident enough, they will not vote for independence supporting parties.

13. If you work in the media, DON’T report poll results on independence, they frequently show a majority for it. If you must, DO make sure they are ‘buried’ as much as possible.

14. If you work in the media and are interviewing politicians, DO make sure you are more aggressive with the pro-independence interviewee. Cut him/her off if they seem to be making a good point, and change the subject. Ridicule their answers and always let the Unionist have the last word. Wherever possible, emphasise division in the pro-independence camp.

15. If you work in the media, DON’T use the Scots language except for ridicule or deprecation of Scottish culture.

16. If you work in the media, wherever possible DO seek out comment from an English-accented individual, especially in authority situations. Never use a person with a Scots accent unless you have to. The exception is football, but we are working towards that.

17. If you work in the History sector, (Universities, museum, historical sites), DO your best to eradicate or play down any nationalist content. The scourge of nationalism must be politically cleansed from our past, it only gives encouragement to independence ideas.

18. If you work in the History sector, DO claim that nothing of importance happened in Scotland prior to the Union. In particular Wallace is to be ignored, or if that is not possible, portray him as a terrorist. Portray the Bruces as self-seeking French rejects.

19. If you work in the History sector, DO claim that Scots were enthusiastic partners in Empire after the Union, and that nationalism only reared its ugly head in the last few decades. Claim England really came to Scotland’s rescue in 1707 and that it was appreciated.

20. If you work on a cultural quango DO try to make sure that Scottish culture, particularly Folk and Celtic Music, goes ignored and unfunded. Encourage the output of politically cleansed material which promotes the Union, especially on TV.

21. If you work in the cultural sector, DO encourage the output of films and theatrical productions which denigrate Scottish culture. The key to success is to keep national self-esteem down as much as possible.

22. DO infer that Scots just aren’t good enough to govern themselves but DON’T ever put that in writing or you risk a charge of racism.

23. DO claim that North Sea oil is about to run out. It’s harder to sell the ‘oil isn’t worth much’ line since the McCrone Report revelation.


For clarification for the reasoning behind these tips, and for many more, refer to your copy of “The Wee Unionist’s Handbook”.
Remember, we may be in the minority but we are in the right - Scotland must be saved from itself.
Rule Brittania!

[earl]

[Harry]

Fucking right. They'll all be racing to vote yes in any referendum in Scotland. After all a silly money making talent show is the be all and end all. Lets base everything on this talent show. Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan, Amanda Holden are so important that they should make Scots vote yes ;D

Nothing but an anti-english bigot. He's watched to many bravehearts. What a knob ;D ;D

I do agree with his views on the show and the silly gobshite judges that bang on about a British talent show but show such naivety towards British people. However he obviously takes it to seriously

[earl]

I thought it was hilarious.

[Jim]

Limmy, he's a legend, and a nutter.

[earl]

I seen another clip where he shows how he kills prostitutes in GTA IV

[earl]

uk.youtube.com/watch?v=2O5rCjTa6v4&feature=related